


After Russia

by LeesaPerrie



Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-08-11
Updated: 2007-08-11
Packaged: 2017-11-06 03:13:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/414083
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeesaPerrie/pseuds/LeesaPerrie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney resigns and returns from Russia.  Sam receives an enlightening, if somewhat worrying, email from her most irritating admirer…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Cat Who Sent An Email

**Author's Note:**

> Set during SG1’s Season 7 but before the episode ‘Heroes’ (and therefore also pre-Atlantis). And yes, the chapter titles were inspired by reading most of the many, many ‘The Cat Who’ books by Lillian Jackson Braun!!

**Chapter One: The Cat Who Sent An Email**

Carter had heard about McKay and the accident in Russia. One of his scientists had carried out an experiment, even though it had been vetoed by McKay and others at the research centre. An experiment that had killed the scientist in question, plus two lab assistants. Not only that, but there had been a shockwave that had caused burning to anyone caught in it...fortunately the shockwave dissipated within a couple of miles of the research centre, which had been set up several miles from the nearest habitation. Even so, there were twenty-one people there who suffered burns, some quite severe. Fortunately, none of these had died.

McKay himself had been hurt, and although his burns were not severe, they had become infected and he had been seriously ill for several days, almost dying at one point. 

No one blamed McKay for this; he had, after all, vetoed the experiment. But three weeks after the accident, he had resigned. A week later, and he had returned to America, settling into a hotel in Colorado Springs, before buying an apartment a short while after. She knew the Air Force had asked him not to resign, even offered to assign him back to Area 51, but he had resigned anyway. Why he bought a place in Colorado Springs was anyone's guess.

Four weeks after he had returned to America, she started to receive emails from him, usually once a week, occasionally twice. They were mainly criticisms of articles he'd read in various science magazines, and she had to admit they could be very entertaining to read, even when she disagreed with his thoughts sometimes. She had even replied to a few of his emails, keeping it strictly business, and not discussing anything that might be considered as sensitive information.

He'd never rung her or tried to see her, just sent the emails. She really had no idea what was going on with him, or why he felt the need to email her, but so long as he didn't start trying to, good grief, get her to go out with him, then she could tolerate it.

He'd been back in America just over three months, when she received an email that both surprised and concerned her. It wasn't his normal style, much more meandering. And personal.

_Hi,_

_Guilt. People seem to think I don't feel it, am not capable of it. That I'm some sort of unfeeling machine; all intellect and nothing else. Or at least, nothing good._

_I've heard it all; arrogant, rude, petty, tactless, unfeeling, sarcastic. And worse, I've heard much, much worse. Usually not directly to me, overheard conversations more often than not, though some are willing to tell me to my face what they hate about me._

_And that's just it; everyone dislikes me, or hates me, despises me even. It's no more than I deserve, I know that. I don't have the time or energy to deal with people's feelings, I deal with facts; cold, hard facts._

_My parents didn't like me. Tolerated me at best, hated me at worst. Guess I should have gotten the clue, shouldn't I? I mean, if they didn't like me, what chance did I have that anyone would? But in my youth, and during my college years, I still hung onto the hope of making friends. And I did...only they always turned out to be people who wanted things from me. False friends. People who were using me to get better grades, or to kick start their careers. A couple even tried to steal my work...they failed, but that's not really the point. These were people I let in, people I trusted, people I thought liked me, maybe even cared about me._

_In the end, I gave up. No one liked me, that was clear. And those who came in friendship were never friends. They'd drop me as soon as they got what they wanted, often telling me how much they detested me as a person in the process._

_So, I'm not likeable. It took me awhile to get it, but I got it in the end. Even those few I let see a side of me I rarely show to the world - the person I hide inside - even they couldn't stand me. I accepted it as a fact in the end, and if no one was willing to like me, then why should I care about them or their feelings?_

_So I push the world away, avoid people who offer friendship, and carry on alone._

_But I can feel guilt. The people I work with, the people I'm in charge of, they might hate me, I may not like them particularly, but they are my responsibility just the same. I don't want to see them hurt, especially if it's my fault. Don't like to see anyone hurt if it's my fault, whether they work with or for me or not._

_What happened in Russia is my fault. And I do feel guilt. Sure, Dr Lebedev went against my orders, against the orders of his government; went ahead with a stupid and dangerous experiment. Can't be blamed for that, can I? That's what I've been told. Only I can be blamed. I knew the guy, knew he was trouble, knew he was obsessed with this experiment. Wouldn't accept his theories were wrong...reminds me of someone, actually. Someone not a million miles from here. I was wrong about Teal'c being dead when he was stuck in the stargate._

_I could see what Dr Lebedev was like, because I've been there myself. I knew he was dangerous, and I should have acted. Should have had him transferred to another project, preferably at another research centre entirely. But the thing was, everyone liked him, he could be very suave and charming when it suited him, and I really couldn't be bothered with the hassle involved with trying to get him transferred. Couldn't be bothered...three people died because of that, not to mention everyone who was hurt._

_So, I feel guilt, contrary to what everyone else seems to think._

_The stay in the hospital was the worst time of my life, and that's really saying something. I was alone in a foreign country, and no one came to visit me, well, except for the ones investigating the ‘accident' of course. But who would visit? When everyone hates you, you don't expect visitors when you're ill. I don't know why it hit me so hard this time, perhaps because I nearly died from the infection. The knowledge that I could count on one hand the people who might mourn me. One hand would too many digits, actually. Sure, my intellect might be missed, but me? I can think of many who'd be relieved I was no longer in this world to annoy them. I hope you wouldn't be one of them, but I don't kid myself that you would mourn me if I died. You barely tolerate me, but at least it's better than being hated._

_Alexandra tolerated me, you know. She was one of the assistants that Dr Lebedev persuaded to help him with his experiment. I fully believe she didn't know it wasn't a sanctioned experiment, she wasn't one for breaking the rules. She liked to work with me, wanted to learn, and showed a remarkable level of tolerance. I mean, she probably disliked me as much as anyone else there, but she could put up with me. And, rather pathetically, that meant a lot to me._

_I think her death hit me hardest. It's rare to find someone who will tolerate me these days. Getting harder, it seems._

_I know people wonder why I'm here, in Colorado Springs. I resigned, couldn't stand being in Russia anymore, and didn't want the responsibility. I needed to get away from it all. Why here? Part of me wants to return to working for the Air Force, on my terms...which are basically that I don't get assigned to a foreign place unless I'm willing to go...none of this packing me off against my will. So by being here, I guess I'm staying on the radar. I could have moved somewhere near to Area 51, but I prefer the climate here. I could always relocate if I returned to work at Area 51._

_Of course, the Air Force might be sighing in relief that I resigned. Or aren't going to be manipulated by a civilian. To be honest, I'm not sure I care. I'd like to come back one day, but right now, even if I was offered a job at the SGC - and how unlikely is that? - I would turn it down. Maybe in a few months I'd accept, but not now._

_My reasoning isn't up to its normal standard. If you want the truth, I came here because I wanted to be near to you...not that I've plucked up courage to try and meet with you...not that you would be interested in meeting with me anyway. It's just that, rivalry aside, and your hotness too, I admire you. And I would like to be...well, maybe friends is too much to hope for, and it's not like I know how to be a friend anyway...but, something._

_Stupid, really._

_Lkkjhfsdgfsdfapetowriopkmebjjkkkk_

A second email had arrived whilst she was reading the first, and she read it now. It asked her to delete the previous email as he hadn't meant to send it, had in fact been about to delete it, when his cat - he had a cat? - had jumped onto the keyboard to demand his attention and had somehow sent the email. The image was funny, if bizarre, but Sam was glad the cat had accidentally sent his email before it was deleted. It showed her a side of him she hadn't known existed, and made her realise just how truly alone the guy was. Alone and feeling guilty for something that wasn't his fault. 

Maybe she could do something to help him out. He needed help, and it wasn't likely anyone else would be helping him anytime soon, so that just left herself. If she did nothing, and something bad happened to him, she'd never be able to forgive herself. Sure, he was an irritating pain in the neck, but she didn't wish him dead. And she had to be honest, she was worried that he might end up that way if he carried on like this much longer. How long could someone live like him, believing that no one would ever like him, that he was in essence not likeable, that he was hated by most, and only tolerated by a few?

She was afraid he might give up on life itself, and she couldn't let that happen. Not if she could prevent it.

She was off work the next day, so long as no emergencies occurred, of course, and she decided a lunchtime visit to one annoying astrophysicist was in order. Not that she had any idea what she was going to say to him. But she was used to winging it these days, so hopefully she wouldn't end up making things worse.

\-------------

When a somewhat dishevelled McKay opened the door, to say he looked surprised to see her would be an understatement, though it quickly turned to suspicion, and then uncertainty.

"Sam...uh...I mean, Major Carter, what brings you here?” he stuttered, before comprehension dawned, and he went on the defensive. "Oh, you read the email... damn cat. Look, I'm sorry about that, I'm okay, really. I certainly don't need your pity.”

"It's not pity that's brought me here,” she said.

"Oh...it's not? Oh...that's...that's good. Um, so _why_ are you here?”

Sam smiled, she wasn't used to seeing McKay flustered; it was quite a sight. She shrugged, aiming for nonchalance.

"Thought it was about time I checked up on you anyway. As one colleague to another. Can I come in?”

"What? Oh, of course,” he said moving inside. "I...ah...I wasn't expecting anyone, so the place is a bit of a mess. Sorry.” 

He removed a pile of clothes from a chair, taking them into another room, before returning. 

"Nice t-shirt,” Sam raised an eyebrow at him in amusement, looking at the ‘Physicists Do It In Theory' legend on the front. 

"Oh, this...I've had this for years,” he laughed self-consciously. "It was a gift from my sister. She seemed to think it was hilarious...don't know why I wear it, really.”

Perhaps because it was from his sister, Carter thought to herself, but didn't say anything.

"Um, take a seat,” he said, still clearly nervous, and jittering in place as he stood.

"Thanks,” she said, sitting on his couch. "Nice place.”

"Yes, it'll do for now, anyway,” his eyes darted round the room, and then he jolted as a thought obviously came to him. "Oh, a drink. I've got coffee, coke...um, probably some beer...”

"Coffee would be nice. Milk, no sugar.”

"Okay,” he disappeared into the kitchen. She looked around the living room, wondering just what she was going to say. McKay seemed pretty nervous about her being here, and that made her smile. He was kind of cute like this, in a dorky sort of way. She shook her head, making a bet to herself that he said something to annoy her before the visit was over. It was bound to happen, the guy just couldn't help himself.

He returned with two mugs, setting one on the coffee table in front of her, and retreating to sit on the edge of the chair he'd removed the pile of clothes from earlier.

"Thanks,” she said, taking a sip. "So, where's the infamous cat, then?”

"Oh, napping on the bed, in a sunbeam. Lazy bum that he is,” he muttered darkly, but Sam saw the affection in his eyes for his pet. There was a time when she would have thought he couldn't feel affection for another living being, but she knew she'd been wrong, even before receiving his email yesterday; his attempt to apologise last time they'd worked together after she'd been hurt had shown her another side to him, awkward though it had been.

"He'll probably turn up soon, demanding food. Alex likes to be fed on time.”

"Alex?”

"Um...yeah,” he looked embarrassed, and wouldn't meet her eyes. "I thought...well, cats, they're pretty independent creatures. But they tolerate humans so long as you feed them. It seemed apt, somehow. Of course, he's much more...friendly than I expected. Affectionate, even.”

"Cats might not have the undying loyalty associated with dogs, but they're often not as independent as people think. They can be very loving and loyal, in their own way.”

"Yeah...so I'm finding out.”

"And it wasn't your fault, what happened in Russia,” Sam said, going straight to the point of her visit. He looked at her, a myriad of emotions flickering across his face, ending in anger.

"What do you know about it?” he demanded. "I...I knew the guy was trouble, but did nothing about it. I knew he was dangerous, but didn't want to deal with all the... emotional backlash from other people if I tried to remove him. Everyone liked him. They would assume I was getting rid of him due to jealousy or some such rubbish. I didn't need the hassle, didn't need anymore hatred being thrown my way...didn't want to risk alienating the only person who seemed able to tolerate me,” he sighed, the anger draining away. "Alexandra liked him, a lot.”

"It wasn't your fault, McKay. You're not to blame for his actions.”

"But I am, don't you see? I put personal feelings ahead of everyone's safety. I was so afraid of losing the...tolerance...of one person, that I put everyone at risk. It was stupid, pathetic...and not like me.”

"You were alone, isolated, and in need of a friend,” Sam said. "You want to blame someone, then you may as well blame me. I was the one who suggested your name for the job in the first place.”

"You had every reason to want to get rid of me,” he said quietly. "And who else could they send, anyway? Not you, for certain. What happened after that, none of that is your fault. I was there, I made a bad decision. My fault, not yours.”

"Damn,” she sighed, frustrated. She had no idea how to get him to see this differently. He'd made up his mind, and she knew from past experience just how difficult it was to change his mind once he'd done that. "You're still one of the most stubborn men I know, and that's not a compliment. Stubborn, and wrong about this. And even if you were right, even if you were to blame for someone else's actions, it was a mistake. And everyone makes mistakes, McKay, even you.”

"But my mistake...”

"Do you think Dr Lebedev would have stopped even if you had him removed from the project? How long before he found a way to do his experiment anyway, somewhere else?”

"I...”

"If he was obsessed, then he would have found a way, regardless of anything you did to stop him.”

"I suppose...but...”

"Where would he have been sent?” Sam moved forward, riding over his arguments. "What if he ended up working in a lab close to, or even in, a town? How many more would have been injured, possibly even killed? I know what his experiment was, and he could have gotten hold of the materials he needed for it even if he had been moved somewhere else. It didn't have anything to do with the naquadah, after all.”

"It...I still put my needs above others...”

"And so have I,” Sam continued. "Crap, that's what you were telling me when Teal'c was stuck in the gate. My need then was to retrieve my friend, despite the risks to the base and those who remained on it when I tried to bring him back,” she sighed, and then smiled slightly. "Welcome to the human race, McKay. It's about time you joined us.”

"What? Oh, very funny,” he said sarcastically. But she noticed that he seemed more relaxed. 

"Just think about it,” she suggested. "You're smart, you'll figure it out. And really, you're not to blame.”

"Maybe...but it still feels like it,” he sighed, rubbing at his eyes. "Crap, I'm a mess right now, and I hate it. But...I'm glad you came.”

"Good. Just don't start getting the wrong idea,” she warned. 

He snorted at that. 

"Only in my dreams,” he said with a smirk.

"Not even there.”

His smirk increased at that.

"Damn, but you're irritating,” she said, deciding a change of subject was needed. "So, have you read Dr Hartman's article about wormholes and space-time paradoxes in the American Journal of Physics?”

"Yes, load of idiotic drivel. However he ever got it published is beyond me...”

And he was off into a rant about the stupidity of Hartman's theories...and Sam found herself enjoying the ‘discussion' immensely. Of course, it helped that she agreed with McKay, for once.

\-------------

Two hours later, she left, having argued their way through several articles, and having met and petted Alex, a gorgeous little tabby full of affection, who had deigned to sit on her lap for a few minutes, before deserting her for McKay. That was an image that almost boggled her mind, Dr Rodney McKay, sitting with a cat on his lap, soaking up his pet's love, and returning it.

And kind of sad, too.

She hoped that her visit would help him come to terms with the events in Russia, and help him to realise that he wasn't totally alone, that she was willing to offer some kind of friendship to him, if he let her. 

Which was really annoying, as she so wanted to hate the guy. He was arrogant, obnoxious, and had an ego that would not die. She had every reason to at the very least dislike him, considering the past times that they had worked together. But there was more to him than met the eye, it seemed. 

Though she had to be careful. Yes, they might become friends, of a sort, but she wasn't about to encourage his obvious crush on her. She rolled her eyes at the thought; just what she needed, another scientist infatuated with her. What had she done to attract them? Though at least Felgar was more pathetic than irritating.

She decided to put all thoughts of McKay to one side for now. There were plenty of things to do with the rest of her mini-vacation, after all.

\-------------

The next day she received another email lambasting some poor scientist's work from McKay, with an added note to thank her for visiting, and that he was giving what she'd said about guilt and everything some thought. She grinned at that, hoping he'd get past it and get on with his life, instead of hiding away in his apartment.

It was a few hours later when Daniel entered her lab at the SGC.

"Hey, Sam, how was your time off?”

"Interesting, and surprisingly okay, considering who I went to visit,” she said with a grin, peaking Daniel's interest on purpose.

"Oh, and who was that?”

"McKay.”

"McKay?” Daniel said in surprise. " _You_ went to see Dr McKay? Of your own free will?”

"Yes.”

She smiled at the incredulous look on Daniel's face.

"Okay, I'll bite,” he asked, clearly intrigued. "Why?”

"He sent me an email, well, his cat did the actual sending by stomping over his keyboard, he was actually intending to delete it. Still, it...disturbed me, and I thought I should see how he was doing. Apparently he feels he's to blame for the accident in Russia, which isn't true, of course.”

"I heard about that,” Daniel said thoughtfully. "He didn't sanction the experiment, in fact, didn't the scientist go ahead without anyone's permission?”

"Yeah, but McKay feels he should have done something to get Dr Lebedev moved somewhere else, knowing that the guy was obsessed. Of course, as I pointed out to him, even if he had, the guy could still have done the experiment somewhere else, and was most likely to do so at that. It didn't rely on anything that he couldn't have gotten hold of elsewhere.”

"You think McKay listened?”

"Maybe, but whether it'll help, I don't know,” she sighed, and shook her head. "Just my luck I got the email. But I felt I had to do something. To be honest, I was afraid he might do something stupid...” she laughed. "As if he would ever do something like that, but...he seemed depressed in the email. Not so much in person, though it was clear he was struggling. Anyway, I hope I was able to help.”

"I'm sure you did. You planning on seeing him again?”

"Probably. He seems pretty isolated. I know the guy can irritate the crap out of me just by opening his mouth, but...” she shrugged.

"But you don't hate him, and besides, you're too nice a person to turn your back on someone in need of help,” Daniel said with a smile. "Want me to come with you next time? Maybe I can act as a referee if things get too out of hand.”

"Thanks, Daniel. I might take you up on that offer. Though once we get started on discussing theories and various articles, you might get rather left behind. That's what his other emails have been full of; discussing, or should I say, ranting about inaccuracies in the articles or the general level of moronic ignorance in the scientific society, etc, etc. Pretty entertaining, so long as it isn't your work he's pulling to pieces.”

"Sounds like fun,” he said dryly. "I could always retaliate with the history of how languages change over time, the different pronunciations of various names...”

"Oh, please, no,” Sam said, holding her hands up in mock surrender. "Anything but that!”

"Hey, kids,” Jack called out, entering the lab. "Teal'c and I were wondering if we could drag you out of here for dinner?”

"Sure, Jack,” Daniel said. "Sounds like a good idea to me.”

Sam agreed, and they headed out to meet up with Teal'c.

\-------------

It was five days later that Dr Jackson found himself outside of Dr McKay's apartment, without Carter. He was beginning to think that McKay was out when the door finally opened.

"Oh...” McKay was evidently surprised to see him.

"Dr McKay, may I come in a moment, please? It's important.”

"Okay,” McKay moved to one side, allowing him into the room. "Why are you here?”

Direct and to the point, that was McKay, Daniel thought with a hidden smile, though he noted the suspicious undertone as well.

"Sam's ill and wants to see you.”

"Ill?” the physicist looked worried. "How bad? She'll be okay, right?”

"We don't know,” Daniel said, trying to keep his own worry at bay. "She was working on an Ancient artefact we brought back from a mission, and something went wrong. Her bodily functions are slowly shutting down, and if the doctors aren't able to work out how to cure her, she has maybe two or so days left.”

"Oh crap,” McKay sat down, obviously shocked. "She wants to see me?”

"Yes.”

McKay furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Why would she want to see me? Surely she wants to spend time with her friends...” he trailed off in thought, and then sighed. "She wants me to look at the device...why else would be want to see me?”

"We have our best scientists on it...”

"Right,” McKay snorted. "Last time I worked at the SGC your best scientists were a bunch of morons, Carter excluded, of course.”

"Of course,” Daniel agreed wryly. "And yes, I think she would like you to take a look at the device.”

"In which case I may need to stay on the base...I'll ask my neighbour to look after my cat for me...she offered to do so if I ever needed to go out of town for a bit,” he huffed slightly. "Hates me, but likes my cat,” he shrugged at that.

"I have a car waiting. Do what you need, and then we'll go.”

"Okay...um...take a seat, I shouldn't be long.”

\-------------

Ten minutes later the cat had been deposited with the neighbour, McKay had gathered together an overnight bag and they were on their way to the SGC.

"The non-disclosure document you signed is still valid, and I've arranged a security pass for you. It would help if you signed a work contract,” Daniel said, pulling a contract out of a briefcase he'd left in the car earlier.

"Keep the paper pushers happy?” McKay looked at Daniel, taking the contract. "I don't think I want to sign any contract, to be honest.”

"It's not a full employment contract, but a consultancy based one, which gives you more freedom. And you could always terminate it if you want.”

McKay scanned through the contract for the next few minutes and then sighed deeply.

"Got a pen?” he asked.

"Here.”

McKay signed the contract and returned it and the pen to Daniel.

"I'll probably terminate it once this is over, whatever the outcome,” he said, turning his attention to the passing scenery. 

"Why?” Daniel wanted to know, remembering what Sam had told him in confidence about McKay's guilt trip. "I thought you liked this work?”

"I did, once,” McKay said with a note of finality. Daniel realised the physicist didn't want to talk about it, and decided to back off. For now, at least.

\-------------


	2. The Astrophysicist Who Made a Friend

**Chapter Two: - The Astrophysicist Who Made a Friend**

When they arrived at the SGC, Daniel led McKay straight to the lab holding the Ancient artefact, leaving him to read up on the reports from Carter and the other scientists who had been working on it, along with the translation of the Ancient language from the surface of the artefact, that Daniel had translated for Sam before she'd started work. Not that the translation had shed much light on its workings.

Four hours later, Daniel came back to check on McKay, who had managed to run most of the other scientists out of the lab with his snapping over their incompetence and general lack of knowledge or brains. He smiled wryly, having heard several bitter complaints about the Canadian's arrogance and biting comments, and having had to try and placate certain people who felt McKay was doing more harm than good. He knew that Sam believed McKay was the man for the job and so was willing to try and smooth things over as best he could.

McKay was engrossed in his studying of the Ancient device as Jackson carefully entered the ‘dragon's den', as several people had started to call the lab, and that was the polite version, bringing a peace offering with him; food and coffee.

The dragon looked up, ready to breathe fire over whoever was daring to interrupt him now, when he realised who it was who'd entered his den, and more importantly, what he was carrying.

"Food,” his eyes lit up. "Ooh, and coffee.”

Daniel smiled genuinely this time as he put them down on the table by McKay.

"I thought you might appreciate it,” he said.

McKay took a big bite out of the sandwich and returned his attention to the computer screen in front of him.

"So, how's it going?” Daniel asked cautiously.

"It'd go a lot quicker if people stopped asking me that,” McKay snapped.

Daniel merely raised an eyebrow at him, and McKay gave a long suffering sigh.

"Slow,” he responded with a grimace. "But I am making progress, I just hope I find the answer in time.”

"We all do.”

"Yes, yes, no pressure here,” he snorted, grabbing the coffee and taking a large gulp.

"Yeah, no pressure,” Daniel agreed dryly. "Might help to take a short break.”

"No time.”

"It's not going to help any if you're too exhausted to think straight,” he pressed.

"I'm fine. It's not the first time I've worked straight through the night, or even the next day and night too. I'm quite capable of functioning on little to no sleep, just so long as the coffee keeps flowing.”

Daniel took the hint.

"I'll make sure the coffee keeps flowing then. I'm going to sit with Sam for a bit. If you need anything...”

"I know.”

Daniel nodded and headed out, hoping McKay knew what he was doing.

\-------------

Over the next eight hours, Daniel acted as a buffer between an increasingly frustrated and stressed out McKay and various worried and agitated individuals, not least of them Jack. Pointing out that a constant stream of people asking how it was going would only act as a distraction, he made sure that he was the only one to ask McKay that particular question. Something that McKay seemed to appreciate, and so didn't snap at him when he asked; well, not _all_ the time anyway.

He also made sure that food and drink made its way to the Canadian at regular intervals, having to admire the way that McKay kept tirelessly working, pushing himself beyond exhaustion and yet still being able to function effectively. It was quite a talent, and not many scientists were able to achieve it; Sam and himself were amongst those few who had.

He knew that McKay was not going to give up, and that was comforting to know. They still had other scientists checking over the reports and working on their own theories, sharing them with McKay only when they felt there was a good chance that the theories might work. McKay shot all of them down within moments, having already thought of and discarded them, which just proved how amazing the Canadian's brain was; it was unfortunate that the man had such an ego to go with it.

But progress _was_ being made, and there was still hope.

\-------------

Nearly sixteen hours after arriving at the SGC, McKay finally believed he knew what the artefact was doing to Sam, and had a definite idea of how to stop it. However, he needed to check with Carter herself about _exactly_ what buttons she pressed in which order so as to be certain. Her report was detailed, but a few of the ‘buttons' didn't look like or act like buttons; they were more like glyphs that activated if you touched them. Carter might not have realised they were anything more than decoration. It had, after all, taken him several hours of work to find that out for himself and he couldn't expect her to have worked it out in the couple of hours she'd had before the energy beam had struck her.

So, it was time to go see her for himself, something he had been avoiding on the principle that the time he wasted on that could mean the difference between life or death for her. Of course, the fact that he hated people seeing him when he wasn't at his best and so presumably she wouldn't want people seeing her like that either, especially people who weren't friends, had nothing to do with it. Neither did the fact that he hated hospitals with a passion which came from long lonely nights feeling ill, in pain and bored out of his mind in a foreign country. Nor the fact that he had a high level of distrust of doctors and all things medical.

But needs must and all that nonsense.

He picked up the laptop that had a 3D virtual model of the Ancient device on it and went down to the infirmary, having to explain to Dr Fraiser rather impatiently why it was vital he talked to Carter. The doctor reluctantly let him in to see her, explaining that Carter was very weak now, and that they would need to place her on life support soon.

Entering the room, he noted Sam was asleep and was shocked by just how ill she looked. He hid his reaction quickly when he saw O'Neill sitting by her bedside, not looking at all pleased to see him.

"What are _you_ doing here?” the Colonel growled.

"I need to talk to Carter about the device,” he responded caustically. "There's a few points that I need to go over with her.”

"McKay, as you might be aware, she is _not well_.”

"Right, and as _you_ may be aware, time is _running out_. Now, if you want me to have a chance of getting this right the first time, rather than second, third or...oops, out of time, you might want to shut up and let me talk to Sam,” he replied hotly, not caring the slightest if he upset the Colonel or not.

O'Neill looked ready to explode at him, but a soft sigh from Sam drew their attention.

"Sir, it's okay,” she said, opening her eyes and blinking sleepily. "McKay and I obviously have some work to do.”

"You sure?”

"Yes.”

Jack nodded and stood, scowling at McKay.

"If you upset her...” he started to warn before being interrupted.

"Yes, yes, I know. Threats of physical violence taken as read.”

He moved past O'Neill and sat down in the seat the Colonel had just vacated, pushing the laptop onto the table that was set up over her bed, so that Sam could see it easily, and ignoring O'Neill as he left, still scowling.

Within moments they were deep in discussion with McKay getting the confirmation that he needed before sleep claimed Sam again.

\-------------

Another three hours passed after McKay left the infirmary before he returned with the Ancient artefact to find O'Neill and Jackson both by Carter's bed, and Dr Fraiser close by. His entrance drew everyone's attention as he placed the device onto a nearby bed.

"You've got something?” Daniel asked, hope in his eyes.

"Yes. I'm taking it that Carter's condition has stabilised during the two hours?” 

The question was aimed at Janet.

"Yes, there's even been a slight improvement,” she confirmed.

"Good, then the connection was broken.”

"What do you mean by that?” Jack demanded, adding quickly before McKay could go into a scientific description, "In layman terms.”

"Huh, right.” Rodney rolled his eyes in disgust. "The artefact is designed to draw energy from a person into itself. Carter accidentally activated it, causing a connection between her and the device. That's why she's been growing weaker.” 

"And you've only just figured that out?” Jack asked.

"No, I figured that out within a few hours of being here. Really, it was quite simple, though it seemed to pass the other so-called scientists here by.”

"You could have told someone,” Jack said in exasperation.

"I was busy,” McKay said, dismissing O'Neill's complaint as unimportant. "Anyway, I was able to cut the connection a couple of hours ago, hence her improved state.”

"And _again_ , you didn't think to tell anyone?” The Colonel's irritation was reaching breaking point, though McKay seemed unaware of that.

"I was _busy_ ,” Rodney reiterated. "You know, trying to save Carter's life and all that. Really, if I stopped and explained everything as I went along I wouldn't be able to do half the work I do...”

"McKay,” a soft voice came from the bed, and everyone turned to look at Sam. "Why have you brought the device here?”

"Oh, right, that. As I was _saying_ , it draws energy from someone and then stores it. This energy can then be used to heal someone else, or the in this case, the same person the energy was drawn from. Seeing as medicine is a squishy science at best, all guess work and mumbo-jumbo,” he ignored the sour look thrown his way by Janet, "I thought it would be better to heal you with this rather than wait for you to, hopefully, recover on your own.”

"You know how to reverse it, then?” Daniel asked.

"Yes, of course, why else would I bring it down here?” McKay ground out, getting annoyed by all the questions and interruptions. 

"Well, then,” O'Neill drawled, "Why don't you get on with it?”

"Yes, why don't I?” Rodney gave a huff. "I'm assuming everyone has finished asking stupid questions.”

Jack raise his eyebrows at that as he and Daniel moved out of the way, allowing Rodney access to Carter. Janet went to the monitors to keep on eye on Sam's vitals. 

McKay pressed a series of buttons and a white beam left the artefact and enveloped Carter for several seconds before dissipating. The transformation was astounding; from pale and weak to hale and hearty within seconds, Sam was healed, fully.

"Thank you, McKay,” she said, with a genuine smile of gratitude.

"Um, well, just, you know, doing my job...” he stuttered out, unused to thanks.

And then Jack and Daniel descended on her, whilst Janet informed General Hammond and Teal'c of Sam's recovery. McKay picked up the device and slipped out, heading back to the lab with it. Normally he'd stay around to accept the accolades due to him, but somehow he didn't feel comfortable this time; he put it down to the fact that he didn't like hospitals much.

Daniel found him an hour or so later, writing up his report on the Ancient artefact.

"Hey.”

"Um, oh, hey. How's Carter?”

"She's fine, though Janet wants to keep her in for a few hours yet, for observation.”

"Typical doctor,” Rodney huffed out.

"Just being careful,” Daniel said in Janet's defence. "Anyway, there's a room set up for you so you can get some rest. When did you last sleep?”

Rodney shrugged.

"Several hours before being dragged out here.” McKay looked at his report a moment before sighing and standing up. "Okay, show me where to go. I think I've earned the right to crash.”

\-------------

The following day, Sam was released from the infirmary and tracked McKay down to her lab. He was busy finishing his report on the Ancient artefact.

"Finally been released I see,” he said as she entered the room.

"Finally. But considering I almost died, I think I can let Janet off for being somewhat... thorough.”

"Humph. Damn doctors; when they're not ignoring you, they're overreacting.”

"You really don't like them, do you?” Carter asked.

"Haven't had much reason to,” he said with a shrug.

"Oh. Well, I didn't come down here to talk about your mistrust of doctors. I wanted to thank you, again, for working out how to save me.”

"Oh, well, no need,” he said awkwardly. "You'd do the same for me. Well, I think you would,” he added anxiously. "You would have, wouldn't you?”

"Of course,” she replied truthfully. "So, what's next for you, then? You signed on as a consultant, but I know for a fact the Air Force are willing to make that into a full job contract if you want, with the added proviso that you aren't sent abroad without your consent. Or you could remain as a consultant...or resign again.”

"You know, I've missed this,” McKay said thoughtfully. "Well, not this, as in the stress and the time constraint, but this as in...” He waved his hand towards the lab.

"Playing with the funky alien tech, as Jack might say.”

Rodney grimaced, but nodded.

"Something like that,” he admitted. "I don't want to go back to Area 51, at least not yet. I don't suppose you could find me a position here? I'll promise not to get in your hair or interfere with your own projects and research, if that'll help,” he said with a grin, before adding ruefully. "Well, I'll promise to _try_ not to, at least.”

Sam shook her head, a smile tugging at her mouth.

"I suppose... that we could give it a trial run,” she said equally as ruefully.

"We could?” he said with a hopeful look in his eyes.

"Yes, we could. But you start giving me trouble and I'll kick you back to Area 51 so fast...”

"Yes, yes, I get it,” he said, smiling broadly. "You're just jealous, and secretly attracted to me, of course.” The smile turned smug.

She groaned. Just what on earth was she letting herself in for? Still, it was good to see him regaining his confidence, even if that damned ego and crush on her were coming along for the ride as well. 

"You can start by showing me what you have on the device,” she said, purposely changing the subject. "You have any thoughts on why the Ancients would make something like this?”

"It could be a form of capital punishment,” McKay suggested. "I suppose if you're going to kill someone then taking their energy and using it to heal others is more... practical than just, I don't know, a lethal injection or the electric chair. It makes sense, in a sort of slightly creepy alien way.”

"Sounds... practical like you said. And very creepy.”

"It might not be that, though. I mean, someone with a terminal illness could be healed by his friends and relatives. Each person would only have to connect to the device for a short period of time so that it only took a small amount of energy. That way they wouldn't become ill, and once it had enough power...”

"Yes, I could see that working,” Sam agreed. "I'd do it, to save someone I cared about.”

"Exactly. A couple of hours or so would leave a person feeling more tired than usual but nothing else, and that would be a small price to pay.”

"I think I prefer the second idea to the first, but I guess we'll never know for certain. Still, it's good to know we could use it...”

"Ah, no, unfortunately not. The power crystals in the storage section burnt out. I don't know whether there was a flaw in the crystal, or whether it was limited on how many times it could be used.”

"So it's useless?” Sam asked, disappointed.

"Unless it can be reverse engineered, and I doubt that to be honest, then yes. Still, at least we know now that they exist and if someone comes across another one off world...”

"Then we'll know what it is, and more importantly, won't activate it by accident and possibly end up wasting it, like we have this time.”

"Well, it's not a complete waste, and accidents do happen...” he trailed off.

"Like in Russia?”

"Yes, yes, fine. Like in Russia. Happy now?” he snapped defensively.

"Ecstatic. Now, show me how it worked.”

\-------------

 _Later, much later..._

Carter had been surprised when they received a databurst from Atlantis. Not so much that McKay had come up with the idea or that he had improved on the high compression ratios, but being contacted by the Expedition after all this time had been unexpected.

Of course, the contents of the databurst had caused the Air Force to start looking into ways of getting to and defending Atlantis from the Wraith; an enemy that made the Goa'uld look full of warm fuzzies by the sounds of things. There had also been a lot of scientific reports, and the database the city held looked to be everything they had hoped for and more.

A certain video message that apparently Lieutenant Ford had decided not to cut as requested - and just what had McKay done to upset his team-mate, and, come to think of it, just what was he doing on a team in the first place? - had told her that she was still in the thoughts of one pain in the ass Canadian astrophysicist, and if she ever got to meet him again he was going to be in _so_ much pain as a result of his revelation.

It had been strange how things had worked out between them when he'd been working at the SGC. He had tried to keep away from her projects as much as possible, which was helped by his own projects keeping him busy, but there had been the occasional run-in. Threats of kicking him back to Area 51 usually got him to back off, and they had built, if not exactly a friendship, at least a mutual respect for each other. Though he still believed himself to be her intellectual superior. She snorted at the thought. He might be a genius, but he didn't have her experience or her intuition, and that counted for far more in her books.

Surprisingly, Daniel had managed to form a sort of friendship with McKay, despite the Canadian's belief that archaeology was a soft science, in fact wasn't even a ‘science', and his many disparaging remarks along those lines. But then Daniel had more tact, diplomacy and downright patience than most people who dealt with McKay, and just let the comments flow over him.

Even more surprisingly, McKay seemed to find some sort of grudging respect for Daniel, even if he was a soft ‘scientist'.

It was a few months later that they discovered the outpost in Antarctica, and McKay was the obvious choice to go there. He'd grumbled about it being colder than Russia, but she knew he was secretly pleased to be in charge of such an important research project. That Elizabeth recruited him as Chief Science Officer to the Atlantis Expedition had, of course, been expected. That he had actually agreed to go to another galaxy without knowing if he would ever be able to return, well, he'd surprised her by going.

He was a lot braver than he seemed. Something borne out by the reports from Major Sheppard regarding his team. 

The report she had in front of her was about the Ancient device that had almost killed her and had necessitated bringing McKay back into the fold after Russia and his resignation. Apparently they had stumbled across a reference to it in the database, and the original use was to take the energy from a Wraith and use it to heal those who had survived a Wraith feeding. One Wraith could heal three or four humans, depending on how far gone the humans in question were.

So far they hadn't encountered any more of these devices in either galaxy, but it was good to know what they had been used for. Of course, the secondary use had been discovered quickly, and friends and relatives of terminally ill patients were able to store their energy into one of the devices and use it to heal their loved one.

It had never been used as a form of capital punishment, which was more of a relief than she had realised. The idea of it somehow didn't feel right to her, and she was glad the Ancients hadn't used it for that purpose.

Sighing, she turned to the next report. There was an awful lot of information to wade through, and anything could turn out to be the salvation of Atlantis, or even this galaxy with the new threat from the Ori.

She hoped she did get to see McKay again. She was curious to see how he had changed. A McKay with off world experience, a team, and friends (family according to his tape) would be interesting to see.

And, of course, not to forget the revenge she owed him. 

She grinned evilly at the thought...

The End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The cat sending the email was based on a true story, though when my friend’s cat jumped on the keyboard, it sent a partially completed feedback comment for an Ebay customer, not a personal unfinished ‘to-be-deleted’ email as in this story!


End file.
